Kim Jong-un Retirement Solution
Something I hope our NSA, CIA, DIA, South Korean Intelligence, etc. will think about...
Simple solution to preven Nuclear War with North Korea and save millions of lives and billions of dollars. Offer Kim
Jong-un the Federal Witness Protection retirement plan. Surrender North Korea to South Korea, and we'll let you and 10
to
20 of your top people settle in America, even visit Disneyland! Live like anonymous Americans with access to Absolutely
Great American grocery stores like Safeway, Whole Foods, and Pathmart, unlimited cable TV, and don't do anything else.
Freedom! Prosperity! Posterity! Even get to meet the Mary, the star from the Witness Protection TV series!
Or take the Gorbachev Retirement Plan, and give some lectures at universities, be famous, etc. Yes, Gorbachev,
leader of our worst enemy, the Soviet Union, retired and worked as a university professor in Washington DC. But there's
always the chance some disgruntled South or North Koreans might come after you. Still, you'd probably be a hit at the
disco
scene and get to be one of the Gliteratii!
How can you Lose, Kim Jong-un, how can you lose!!
Either of these plans is Far cheaper, easier, Safer, and much, much more comfortable than war and all that sucrrying
around from bunker to bunker, plotting and blustering about attacking various nations which might want to vaproize you if
you sound just a bit too serious! Plus, you get the best medical care on the planet, And the Grocery Stores, Kim, think
of
those Grocery Stores chock FULL of unlimited quantities of wonderful, wonderful fresh food!
How can you Lose, Kim? How can you lose with a beutiful American retirement plan like that?
No more hiding in the bunkers! No more wondering which of your top aides is going to shoot you to keep his
relatives
from being incinerated with you in the next war. No more worries whether the USA or some other country will vaporize
you!
Come to the USA, Kim! I mean, can 13 million Mexicans be wrong? And they don't even have your wealth! Yet still
they prefer America.
Your problems are Over, Kim, OVER FOR GOOD! And for the good of all
of your people, and the whole world.
Why, we might even get Obama to give you his Nobel Peace Prize!
(It's slightly used, but still impressive; at least to some people.) And OJ might even give you some of his prize
Football memorabilia.
I'm sure Pawn Stars would love to have you on a TV episode. They'd make a good offer for some of your inflatable
dummy missiles. As would
other TV shows. Be famous, Kim, be one of the Gliteratii!
And if you don't take it, well, someone else might knock you off,
cause the plan is available to you, OR to anyone who ends your plans...
Think about it, Kim. Really think about it. It's as good as it get!s .
(I'd suggest you take the first plan, Kim, it's an easier life than trying to placate the America audience. Then
again, you could probably run a talent show or something featuring Koreans on American TV. I mean, lots of people still
watch Lawrence Welk and Dinah Shore. I'm sure hollywood folks could come up with a multi-year contract that does not
depend on viewership. I mean, Trump was a TV star too; though he did have good ratings.)
|